Rediscover something from your past. Visit a place from your childhood where you felt safe, eat a meal your parents used to cook for you, or visit an old friend who changed your life. Do it because life may have moved you away from these things, but that doesn't mean they're gone forever.
Try something you haven't experienced in 5 or more years, because
old is the new new!

Why:

You've spent the last four months meeting, creating, exploring, and learning- let's take a minute to remind ourselves of who we are. Remember, who we are and who we become is founded on who we once were. There are elements of everyone's life so far forgotten that rediscovering them can be life altering. Some activities may have been menial, but we lost sight of them when we "became adults". Isn't it time to find these again? See what this voyage of rediscovery brings to your life!

Try things that may not have been fun, but were given up on because they were difficult.

Maybe you won't even like these things anymore. But it's about trying, isn't it?

Bonus points!

Keep up the previous month's challenges! If you meet up with old friends, take them to do new things!

Trivia:

That guy who was a jerk to you in middle school is currently getting bitten by raccoons out behind an Arby's dumpster. I did the research, so I know it to be true. You should probably go help him out, I hear raccoons carry rabies.

Resources:

FaceBook - Track down old friends and stak your exes*
*please do not stalk your exes. The Brave New in no way condones online stalking of that girl who got away. The one who you went on a few dates with, but then she moved away, and you're pretty sure if
she just saw how awesome you were, she'd realize you were meant to be.
COME BACK TO ME MELISSA!
 

The box of legend.  Behold and lose all hopeToday’s Rediscovery: Play “Super Ghouls N’ Ghosts” on a Super Nintendo.

Why: Super Ghouls N’ Ghosts is an affront to humanity.  Generally accepted as one of the hardest games ever made, it gives you the luxury of playing out the fever-dream of a madman, where realistic jump physics, no save points, a haplessly waddling protagonist, and two-hits-til-you’re-dead seem wholly appropriate.  You play as King Arthur, of legend, who somehow has developed a beef with Satan, and then you strap in and learn the important lesson that life’s just not fair.  It ground me up and spit me out as child, but this time things will go differently.

How long HAS it been: ~19-20 years

What was it like then: When I was young, my parents would let me rent a game for the SNES every weekend, in exchange for mowing the lawn and whatever yardwork was required.  Around 1991 and 1992, Nintendo was shoveling out crapware, and it was difficult to determine what games were actually games, and what were just cruel jokes where the consumer was the punchline.  As an 8 year old, I had no way of recognizing that the game with the knight fighting zombies was just such a joke.  Hell, as an adult I think I’d still gravitate towards the box art that suggested I kill zombies.

SUPER GHOULS N GHOSTSI’ll never forget popping that cartridge into my Super Nintendo, and having my spirits shattered like an eggshell prophylactic.  (Did that simile work?  I feel like it worked.  Yeaaaaaah, simile.) I played for hours the first day, and never got past the first half of the first level.  I played for hours the second day, and still couldn’t even fathom beating the first level.   Only by the end of the weekend had I even glimpsed the beginning of the second level.  I’d mowed the lawn AND weed-wacked for this?!  All I had gotten out of it was an OCD-like drive to memorize every detail of everything ever, an addiction to Shasta, and a burning hatred for ghouls and/or ghosts.

What is it like now? I took the time to track down the original cartridge.  I spent a week steeling myself, training and meditating for the unrelenting challenge to come.  I enlisted the help of a cohort, a young woman with the reflexes and instinct to slay whatever forces are thrown our way.  With home-popped popping corn and a determination unparalleled by most SNES gamers, we were ready.

SNES cartridge of Super Ghouls N GhostsWe were not ready. I knew we were in trouble when the level select music brought back a flood of memories that made me nearly wet myself.  It took us almost an hour to progress significantly beyond the first screen.  Apparently, Arthur is completely committed to his jumps.  If you jump in the wrong direction, you can’t control where he lands, so any time you tap the “b” button, you’re probably flinging your hero into the gaping maws of whatever thing was about to kill him.  Which, incidentally, is everything.  Everything kills you.  Things that look like background elements kill you.  Pretty pink marble columns kill you.  Don’t touch the water, it kills you.  And when you’ve started to get the feel for the game, started to amass potent magic armor, well, one hit and you’re running around, powerless, in your boxers.

I HAVE DATED IN LOS ANGELES.  I KNOW LIFE IS NOT FAIR.  I DO NOT NEED TO BE TAUGHT THIS AGAIN, CAPCOM!

After almost four grueling hours, Lauren and I had progressed through three and a half levels.  Because the cartridge system does not easily overheat, we planned to leave it on and pick up later.  But then I bumped the console, the screen went wonky and filled with foreign characters, and the SNES reduced us to tears heavy swearing.

Wonky Screen

Notes: I looked this game up online.  Apparently when you get to the “end” of it, the princess makes you restart because she forgot the magic bracelet you need to kill Satan.  Had this happened to myself or Lauren, one of us might have would have burned down the apartment.  When you beat it the second time, your reward is that it reveals the princess’ name and dimensions in centimeters.  So, here’s the spoiler.  She’s 88-58-90, and her name is Prin, which apparently is intended to be an onomatopoetic word indicating the sound (prin prin) made by a fine buttocks whilst walking.  Don’t ask me, I guess it’s a Japanese thing.  Incidentally, I looked up these dimensions, and apparently she’d look like this:

Comparison of Prin Prin 88-58-90

My reward for attempting the game was learning a lot of useless information about Japanese misogyny.  HOWEVER, I did have a blast playing with Lauren, and got every penny’s worth from purchasing this cartridge.

One Comment to “Slowly Spiral Back into Insanity Playing Super Ghouls N Ghosts”

  • Okay, this would be why all my attempts at dating in Europe seem to turn up legions of fat chicks. Lying bastard metric system!

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Brave Newbie Writers

Phil WarrenPhil Warren (81)
Founder and editor of The Brave New, Phil Warren is now an accordion player, a minister, a sonic weapons expert, a director, a photographer, a public speaker, and a bunch of other things. Mostly he's an adventurer though. An adventurer who smells nice. Except when he doesn't.
NickNick (6)
One part Burner and one part Engineer; I’ve lived through twenty-five-and-a-half winters, and aim to keep it that way. My world is a strange one, and it’s my goal to make it stranger.

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